2020 Taught Me Lessons I Didn't Expect

As I’m getting ready to put 2020 behind me - I don’t know anyone who isn’t ready to leave this year behind - I’ve been thinking about what this year has taught me. When I look past what the pandemic has taken from us, I see some valuable lessons. It’s up to each of us to decide how we digest the events in our lives. We can try to make the best of it or we can be bitter and angry. I’m a little of both.

When I look back at photos of this past New Years Eve, I can’t help but think how foolish we were. Laughing and celebrating together. Little did we know that 2020 was going to be a year like no other. Not one of us imagined we would be on lockdown as fear of the pandemic gripped the world. The economy would come to a screeching halt and whole industries crippled. Riots would destroy thriving downtown areas and symbols of American history defaced. Plans for trips and vacations canceled. Over a million people worldwide would die. The President of our nation would make an ass of himself. That brings me to the shit show of the presidential campaign and election. This was not a good year for America.

When I look past all the negative things that happened and I look at those pictures with fresh eyes I see things differently. It was the best New Years Eve I’ve ever had. Nothing fancy or over the top; sweat pants and hoodies, some good junk food, a little bit of booze, card games, Snapchat filters, and a whole lot of laughter. We looked like the perfect family. In a lot of ways we are, but perfect isn’t human.

What you don’t see is that each one of us at that table has a story. I’m not going to share them because then you would see us differently based on your opinion of those stories. (Believe me when I say it’s nothing you would see on Jerry Springer.) I’ve got you thinking now, don’t I? You initially judged us on the single snapshot of one moment in time. Let me stop you right there. You shouldn’t be so quick to judge a book by its cover. That’s one of the most important things I learned in 2020.

We’ve all done things we’re not proud of. In one of my weaker moments, I recently chased down the UPS driver - on foot - because the day before I received someone else’s package, and one of mine was misdelivered (still missing). On the day of the foot chase, another package that wasn’t mine was delivered to our porch. I threw on my fuzzy winter boots and hat and took off running after her. I flagged her down standing on the side of the road waving the package at her like a crazy woman. I still can’t believe she pulled over and rolled down her window, she’s a brave woman. She was one of the temps delivering a deluge of packages from her personal vehicle.

I told her that she had left the package on my porch and it wasn’t mine. I also told her that yesterday she delivered my Barnes and Noble box to someone else, marked it delivered, and now it was lost. (I’m a creeper so I saw the box in her car as she was rooting through the pile). She told me she wasn’t the driver that day. Mistake number 2, she lied to my face. I saw her but I didn’t dispute it. I was picking my battles. I glanced at the package I was still holding and told her, “This goes to number 59, I’m number 70. I’ll put it on their porch for you.” She looked at me quizzically and said, “there’s a number on that package?” Ok if you know me, you know the look that crossed my face as I took a deep breath and pointed it out to her. As I marched back home ranting to Lauren about the driver, I wasn’t very nice.

I judged this woman on one experience with her. Just because she made a mistake doesn’t mean she’s dumb. I only interacted with her for a very short time. She could have been having a week from hell. The fact is, I didn’t know her background.

Quite often the stigma of mental illness, addiction, economic status, even criminal records unfairly, and almost immediately devalues a person without regard to the rest of that person’s life. The person suffering from depression could very well be hiding a lifetime of abuse; the addict who wrapped their car around a tree on the way home from the bar could have grown up with alcoholic parents and not gotten the help they needed; the couple standing on the corner with a tattered cardboard sign asking for work could have been an upper-middle-class family last year; the felon applying for a job most likely wasn’t convicted of a violent crime, but a non-violent crime they committed without intent. Every one of the people in these situations is just like you. They got to where they are because of events in their lives. It doesn’t make them bad people. They all deserve the same respect we feel we are entitled to.

So when you scroll back up to look at the picture of us I hope you see a table full of good people who love and respect each other despite our faults. Our faults are what make us human. I see a table full of good people who love each other.

I challenge you not to judge 2020 by its cover and look a little more deeply to see what it taught you.

~Hope